You Should Be on Your Best Behavior
WARNING – The podcast is a wee bit graphic, so if you have sensitive ears, don’t listen to it!!
Have you heard this advice before? You know, you’re going out on that first date, and you’re either told to behave “your best” or you expect the person you’re meeting to behave at their best. So by default, then, you’re establishing that, if you and this person will be on your best behavior, after the first date, things can only go DOWNhill.
What? Does that make sense?
And so, you date for a while, and get married, and inevitably, it does get worse, because all this bullshit about you each being on your best behavior was, well, hiding bits about your personality, or your true beliefs and feelings, because you are trying to impress the person. And then, bam! one day, you don’t feel the need to be so impressive, and you become REAL – your true self?
And then what happens? You end up realizing you didn’t marry the person you thought, or you feel you were lied to, and you fall out of love, or get really angry and start hating your partner that you thought you loved…
So, this is why I think the advice to “be on your best behavior” at the start of a relationship is bullshit! I believe you should “be on your TRUE behavior” at all times. It saves everyone a lot of time. It means you get to know pretty fast if you don’t like someone, and it also allows you to be deeply accepted by your partner.
And, come on, let’s get brutally honest – we tend to dress nicely, ladies might put no make-up, and everyone may do some, ahem, personal grooming, all in the name of looking your best! And then, as soon as you realize you’re in a permanent relationship, you then start bringing out your granny panties, your ripped jeans and smelly t-shirts, and you STOP grooming???? I think we have that BACKWARDS!
So, instead of covering up the parts of your personality and looks you fear will lead to rejection – just work on being and showing your authentic self. Allow someone to get to know the real you, and love you for it, and once they’re hooked, then you can start trying to keep them impressed with personal grooming, dress, makeup….and hold on to a wonderful relationship!