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Today’s Lie: I Can’t Figure Out What to Do

The Bull 3

Many times in our life, (sometimes several times a week!) we end up having situations where we say, “I can’t figure out what to do about…”  Usually, it’s things like:

  • Whether to make up or break up
  • Whether to accept a new job offer or stay put
  • Whether to confront the boss
  • How to handle a resignation

indecision

The experience seems quite similar each time, at least for me; something happens, I get off kilter, I have a bunch of options, I don’t know which to choose, so I call a bunch of girlfriends and ask for advice.  Then ensues the drama of whose advice to follow, since I can’t find my own, and before I know it, I get stuck in “I can’t figure out what to do!” eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.  And, well, it’s a crummy place to be because you can’t make any decisions from here, and then whatever the situation is hangs over your head like the dampest of clouds you can’t shoo away……….

 

The BustIn my experience, this “I can’t figure out what to do” line is full of bull!  It means you’re focusing on the wrong verb.  The issue you’re grappling isn’t really about what to do, it’s about your lack of understanding what you WANT.  With no understanding of an end goal, how can you figure out what to do?  And so, your mind will hone in on indecision, and look for the answers in every place outside you that’s possible, because you’re not asking the right question:

What’s your end game? goal

If it’s about a relationship (or even a fling!) – what’s your bigger picture with this person?  (Is there one?)  If you’re unsure about a job offer, what is it you want for your career?  How does your current job and your opportunity help you towards that goal?

So, the next time you find yourself spinning in “indecision land”, calling up everyone you know for advice, and stuck in inertia, take a breath, and focus on what’s down the road instead.  Getting clear on that picture might just help you align with yourself so that you can make a great decision that’s in line with your integrity.  And, when you reach that place, you won’t even need to run your decision by anyone else, because you’ll know it’s the right decision for you.

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