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My Needs Don’t Matter

(You can access the podcast at the bottom of this article.)

This is a tricky lie of the day! Surely, you are not actively using this tought, or walking around believing that your needs don’t matter.  Sadly, this one sits deep underneath our conscious thoughts, so we don’t even know we’re thinking it.

It’s the belief that you are supporting every time you make an excuse to not go to the gym, not get your hair done, not eat good food, not have alone time, and so forth.  It’s so damn easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else’s needs and find validation doing it, because, oh, “I’d be selfish if I put my own needs first…”!!!!!!!! 

Actually, you are being selfish to yourself by not taking care of your own needs.

I realized I was using this very thought this week, when I got a massage.  It dawned on me that it was the first massage I’ve had all year.  As the pain in my body got attention, and thus stopped hurting (yes, because, sometimes your physical pain just needs some loving attention, too) I realized I spent 5 months making excuses about why I couldn’t get a massage.  Time and money were at the top of the list.  But, with the recent Spa Week, I found a $50 massage and decided to treat myself.  And, I then thought of canceling it, can you believe it?  Thank goodness I did not.  Here is what happened during my massage:

  • I relaxed
  • My body stopped hurting
  • I felt nurtured, and I had myself to thank for allowing it to happen, so I felt grateful
  • My mind drifted in a relaxed state of meditation
  • Creative thoughts entered my mind with no effort
  • I came up with the idea for this blog post!

So, why had I spent all that time making excuses to treat myself nicely?  I couldn’t think of one good reason.

Whether you are single, married, a parent, an entrepreneur, have a job, don’t have a job….you deserve to have your needs met, and you do matter.  And, sometimes, you need to show yourself that more than lament that other people don’t treat you with importance – because it starts with you.

So, today’s call to action is to treat yourself with some respect this week.  Focus on a need you have that you have not met in a long time.  Make this about you, not someone else.  Do you need alone time?  Do you want a facial?  Do you need some girl or guy time?  What is something you really enjoy that you’ve been putting off?  When you find it, create a way to nurture that need, ideally this week, but if you can’t then find some time in the next month.  You’ll be glad you did!  4J5JEFW3WCAJ



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