Today’s Lie: I Have to Hide My True Self
I find it frustrating that we often get so caught up in what other people think, and trying to be accepted, that we give up our truest selves in the process. We find many more reasons to hide in life, than we do to stand out in our truest ways.
How we treat dogs is the perfect example of this sabotaging and suffocating process. In a city like New York, when you live in an apartment building, you never know how people will react to a dog. Because you want to keep your dog, and ideally not get sued, or kicked out of this building that you’ve come to think of as home, you train your dog to sit still, and “behave.” Behave like what, exactly? Like an adult human who should know better? It pains me to see beautiful dogs around me in an elevator who desperately want to jump up and be pet, but are restrained by their owner. I identify so much with that deep yearning in their eyes – they are struggling to stop doing what comes naturally to them, all because we’ve come to believe that if they show love and affection it will actually be BAD.
Humans go to offices and often times, instead of being creative, and sharing wisdom, and playing with ideas and concepts, they instead put their heads down, bitch about their awful boss, the job they hate, and impatiently wait for 5pm, to leave, unless they have to pull an all-nighter. They justify their crappy job as a means to an end. Because they need the means, the way a dog needs food from their owner, they suffocate their words, change their behavior, dress for someone else, all in the name of money. They do this because, either, they think this is the only way they will be able to get the money that will supply their security, or because they don’t believe it will be better anyplace else. Like a dog in an environment where they cannot jump and play, humans are trained to be quiet, put their head down and do as they are told.
Dogs were born to play and to love! All they want to do is give kisses, jump on their loved ones, and show their excitement. Why would we breed that loving nature out of them?
As humans, we are born to play, love, have fun, and try new things! Why on earth do we have schools that teach us all to be the same, and then enter jobs that force us to suppress our innate wisdom and fun nature, sacrificing our happiness and uniqueness? And then, SURPRISE, you wonder why you get depressed, feel like you can’t be yourself, and want to believe “there is more to life than this!” Then you try to look outside yourself for any scrap of evidence you can find that life is better than your crappy job, and seek out that one place, or that one person, who might dare accept the “true you”….
And then, there are cats. Cats, we make an excuse for. We accept that cats are moody, and cannot be controlled. We don’t try to train them out of playing with yarn, or running around the house. No, we accept their personalities as the unique creatures they are. If one minute they are purring lovingly, and the next they scratch our hand away, we accept that they were done with us, and want to be alone now. Cats make no sacrifices. They don’t sit in your lap longer than they want to because you want to pet them. No, they dig their nails into your jeans if you don’t let them go. When they want to eat, and you forgot to put food out, they will meow, and cry until you get their damn food! Cats don’t change themselves to fit into your life, they make you accept them as they are.
What will it take YOU to realize that you were born with a fire and a desire to learn and connect in this life of yours? When will you demand that people respect your personality as they do a finicky cat? When will you allow your personality to shine in this world, and grace us with your full spirit?
Some of you, by now, might be thinking, “sounds great, but HOW do I do that, when I’ve been hiding myself so long?” Here are a few tips. You may not like all of them, but if you’re serious about stepping out of hiding, you’re going to have to have some courage. The process might be tough, but the benefits are huge! So, here goes:
- Stop expecting everyone to like you. This was a rough lesson my 9th-grade algebra teacher tried to clue me in on. I kicked and I screamed, and demanded my parents talk to him about his ridiculousness. But in the end, if you want to be you, you have to accept that not everyone will like you. Instead of trying to change how people feel about you, make peace with the fact that some people do like you, and others do not.
- Realize “there is more than one way to skin a cat”. Now, I do NOT advocate skinning cats, DISGUSTING! But the significance is true – there is more than one way to accomplish your “means” and your dreams. Get in touch with what you really want, and start manifesting other ways to accomplish it.
- The real path to happiness is within you. I know, I sound like Yoda! But, seriously, the more you rely on other people and circumstances for your innate happiness, the less likely you will find it. Step up to the plate, take back your power, and learn how to make yourself happy.
Need help connecting with “the real you” and getting out there? Set up a BullBusting session now!