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I Can’t Decide

This is one of the most over-used lies I’ve heard MYSELF use, not to mention friends and colleagues. 

It’s almost as bad as when Frank Zappa (ok, dating myself!) created the Valley Girl concept that introduced the term “like” into our vocabulary that we STILL can’t get out!  “You know, it’s so like hot outside….”  We just use “I can’t decide” to preface half the communication in our life!

I can’t decide whether to go out, or stay in tonight.”

I can’t decide what I want for lunch.”

I can’t decide where to go on vacation.”

Gosh, our life sounds like a big decision headache!

The problem with starting our sentences, and our thoughts, with this paralyzing phrase, is that we end up stuck, and sometimes, feeling totally screwed up! 

 A good deal of the time, I think we are actually stuck in one of two beliefs; “I only have 2 choices, and neither is satisfying” or “I’m overwhelmed by all the options to choose from”.

From there, we begin to project the outcome of each potential decision, as if we are suddenly completely psychic in a way we are not anyplace else in our lives.  The outcome is of course, either shitty, or shittier, and, we know we are right.

Let’s bust the bullshit on being stuck in indecision, ok?  Here we go:

For those of you stuck in “I only have 2 choices, and they both suck,” or some variation

  • You actually have a very simple assignment.  Here it is, ready?  Come up with a 3rd option!  Think you don’t have one?  Then make up options until you finally realize that you DO.  There are endless possibilities for us, so why stick yourself between 2? 
  • And, by the way, those outcomes that you projected in your otherwise brilliant mind?  They are full of crap!  Sorry to burst your intelligent brain bubble, but really, why are you focusing on such negative outcomes?  First off, negative thoughts attract negative circumstances.  So, unless you WANT a negative outcome, stop wasting your beautiful mind on all this negativity.  Second, does your life really represent only negative outcomes to decisions?  Think hard.  There is at least one example, someplace in your memory, of a GREAT decision you made!  So, remember, you can have something wonderful if you choose to.

Now, for those of you stuck in “I have too many choices to choose from,” here’s what I have to say

  • Good for you, it’s nice to have so many options!  I’m glad you are not choosing between the classical shitty and shittier.
  • You are most likely focusing on the options, and not the desired outcome.  And, I’ll bet many of the options seem really freaking fantastic, too, which no doubt makes the decision harder.  It’s like looking at a dessert menu and thinking, “I can eat an ice cream sunday, or a brownie, or cheesecake, or a cupcake, I have no food allergies, I need the calories, so what do I choose?” 
  • The desired outcome is usually what you WANT or an end GOAL.  So, instead of focusing on all your options, think about what you WANT (chocolate, ah, so I can rule out cheesecake, and I’m gonna want sprinkles, which go best with ice cream, so I’ll have the sunday!) or the end GOAL.  In the dessert example, if you wanted to actually lose weight, you’d simply hand the menu back and order nothing, unless they had fruit or sorbet.  If it’s a choice between job offers, you’d be thinking about areas like salary, location, career projection, etc. 
  • By focusing on the end point, the plethora of choices begin to shrink, and the best decisions begin to pop out!

Are you feeling stuck in your life?  Set up some time to bust the bull and get your life moving again!
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