(You can access the podcast at the bottom of this article.)

This is a tricky lie of the day! Surely, you are not actively using this tought, or walking around believing that your needs don’t matter.  Sadly, this one sits deep underneath our conscious thoughts, so we don’t even know we’re thinking it.

It’s the belief that you are supporting every time you make an excuse to not go to the gym, not get your hair done, not eat good food, not have alone time, and so forth.  It’s so damn easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else’s needs and find validation doing it, because, oh, “I’d be selfish if I put my own needs first…”!!!!!!!! 

Actually, you are being selfish to yourself by not taking care of your own needs.

I realized I was using this very thought this week, when I got a massage.  It dawned on me that it was the first massage I’ve had all year.  As the pain in my body got attention, and thus stopped hurting (yes, because, sometimes your physical pain just needs some loving attention, too) I realized I spent 5 months making excuses about why I couldn’t get a massage.  Time and money were at the top of the list.  But, with the recent Spa Week, I found a $50 massage and decided to treat myself.  And, I then thought of canceling it, can you believe it?  Thank goodness I did not.  Here is what happened during my massage:

• I relaxed
• My body stopped hurting
• I felt nurtured, and I had myself to thank for allowing it to happen, so I felt grateful
• My mind drifted in a relaxed state of meditation
• Creative thoughts entered my mind with no effort
• I came up with the idea for this blog post!

So, why had I spent all that time making excuses to treat myself nicely?  I couldn’t think of one good reason.

Whether you are single, married, a parent, an entrepreneur, have a job, don’t have a job….you deserve to have your needs met, and you do matter.  And, sometimes, you need to show yourself that more than lament that other people don’t treat you with importance – because it starts with you.

So, today’s call to action is to treat yourself with some respect this week.  Focus on a need you have that you have not met in a long time.  Make this about you, not someone else.  Do you need alone time?  Do you want a facial?  Do you need some girl or guy time?  What is something you really enjoy that you’ve been putting off?  When you find it, create a way to nurture that need, ideally this week, but if you can’t then find some time in the next month.  You’ll be glad you did!

(Podcast available at the end of this article – and it’s more animated! )

I recently realized I had gotten into a habit of beating myself up for all the stuff I didn’t get done.  I pointed out to myself that I neglected to clean off my dining table, hadn’t gotten very far on designing my website, didn’t make an appointment to get my hair cut…..wow, it’s so damn easy to find all that stuff I didn’t get around to!

The list got longer and longer, and I found myself feeling pretty demotivated.  What kind of person doesn’t get their hair cut, after all?  And, how lazy am I that I didn’t finish my website yet?

Hey, any of this crappy line of thinking sound familiar?  If it does, then you know how much it SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I finally got so damn tired of beating myself up, that I decided to prove myself wrong.  I went to Staples (for any of you reading this from another country, that’s our local Office Supply retail chain) and bought a Weekly calendar, and I used it to create a

Done List

(Yes, it’s so important, I had to put that in it’s own box!)  The Done List is NOT about writing down what you have yet to get done, and checking it off.  NO NO NO, all those reminders were not what I wanted.  Instead, at the end of each day, I have been writing down what I got done!  In other words, all my accomplishments for the day.  Let me give you a few from the past week, because I am now really proud of myself, and I feel like sharing:

• Coached 4 clients
• Updated a part of my website that I just could not figure out how to do, and finally figured out!
• Went to Zumba class twice
• Had a girl’s sleepover party!!
• Saved $700 on a medical bill! Holy shit, I still can’t believe that one.
• Enjoyed a lunchtime walk in the park with two friends

My list for the week is MUCH longer, and I eagerly approach each evening now, with what I got done.  And, despite what you think, it is not difficult!  Sometimes, I might be celebrating watching TV or reading a book, sometimes, I am honoring a positive step towards a difficulty in my life.  I got to see that I am making time in my life for fun, well-being, work, and fulfillment – leaving me feeling more balanced, and more inspired to keep accomplishing more.

So, today’s call to action is – get out there and create your own Done List!  It can be in any form you wish – on the computer, a piece of paper, a dry-erase board, a calendar… – just spend each evening writing down the accomplishments you got done today.  It can be one thing, it can be many, there are no rules.  It can be “big” or “small”, alone or with someone – anything that allows you to realize you rock and you kick ass, and keep doing it!

I can’t tell you how much I hear this lie or some version of it!  I hear and see it so much, that I am going to make this a podcast and a blog so you can really let the message sink in, !  (Scroll to the bottom of this post for the podcast.)

If you’re a sole proprietor launching a business, every day you hold off publishing your website, is just one more day you deny everyone the pleasure of finding you. 

Entrepreneurs, sole proprietors, and small business owners, especially, seem to really struggle with having to get things perfect before they put them out to the world.  You have to know all the pages that will go on your site, the text has to be perfect, your message has to be perfectly clear and concise, spelling and grammar must be checked…..yes, it’s true, having a professional looking site is a good idea, but it takes time to get your site to the point that it’s “perfect” – in quotes because, quite honestly, your opinion of perfection is going to change every few weeks or months, and you will be making changes and updates all the time!  So, what are you waiting for?

I hate to break it to you, but when you do publish your site, even if you have grandiose music playing in your mind, and wait for the stars to align, have a glass of champagne at the ready, and your heart thumps loudly, no one will know you launched it but you!  Unless, of course, you told your parents and friends, and then, maybe 6 people will know. 

It takes time to get people to know about your website, even if you launch right into mad advertising!

In an effort to inspire those of you who are putting off the publication of your site because you’re waiting to think it’s perfect, I am going to let you use me as a guinea pig!  So, I have not officially launched it yet, BUT, I have a new BullBusting venture coming.  It’s called, The BullBuster Boardroom and will be a place for busting the bull standing in the way of financial empowerment and business success.  The site is actually live, but I am nowhere near done filling in the text, and explanations that will go there.

So, as of this blog posting, May 1st, 2012, if you go to the boardroom now, at www.thebullbusterboardroom.com, you will see a really incomplete website.  It’s got a lot of work to go, and your call to action for today is to feel free to check back to that site every week or two, and watch it develop.  You will see me figuring out the right words, the right layout, the whole thing in action!  And, may my incompleteness inspire you to just get your own business out there, and relish in the development process, imperfections and all!

Oops, remember that little New Year’s Resolution you made?  Did it kind of slide toward the bottom of your priority list already?  Hey, the year’s not even half over yet, so you still have time!

But, I wanted to explore this one because, why is it that we feel so empowered in January, and then drift off in that empowerment feeling by the end of January?

AND, guess what?  Today’s podcast has another FREE action guide for you to download!  Just CLICK HERE and get your copy – no sign up required.

Today’s lie of the day is available as BOTH a podcast and in writing.  The podcast is a bit more intimate and animated, but take your pick, or try both!

This lie was one plagued me for a long time! When it comes to money, I have been really fantastic at spending it.  I had a great time doing it, too!  My theory was, if I have money, why save it?  It gives me power to have what I want, RIGHT NOW, what fun! Whenever I tried to take a time out and learn about money, or my finances, I literally got anxious, like looking at numbers literally made me sick.

Money is such an interesting thing – it comes, it goes, we like to keep it, we like to spend it, and finding a balance can be pretty damn tough. I was living this lie for years – believing that “I don’t understand money” and “I don’t get how to save money”.  And the wonderful thing about these lies was that they allowed me to spend, spend, spend!  And, when I saw something I wanted, there was no thought wasted.  I wanted it, I deserved it, I bought it!  I ended up with clothes I never wore, books I never read, and an apartment full of crap, cluttering up my bookcases, my tables, and sometimes the floor.

 Once in a while, I would have some credit card debt, and as soon as I paid it off, I of course deserved a reward and would run back out and buy more stuff to celebrate! More clothes, more books, more of everything I already had 25 of but couldn’t find because they were stuffed behind all the other crap in front of it… 

And then, I finally had enough. I decided if I could survive my childhood, live in other countries where I had to learn the language to make it by (and did!),and  negotiate Verizon into cutting down my 3-month lead time for DSL service to 2 weeks, then dammit, I can learn how to manage my own money. 

And wouldn’t you know it, no sooner than I made this decision, a class appeared for me to learn to manage my money. I began to talk myself out of shopping, and I consciously looked at my checkbook.  And, wait for it, I started SAVING money.  Instead of viewing the leftover money I had like I had just won the lottery, I looked at that money as an investment in my goals and my future.  I simply put more of it into my savings account, instead of into other people’s cash registers.

In fact, when I recently got a coupon to save $18 if I would just buy 3 products valued at $30, I began to calculate instead of shop.  “So, if I spend $90 on crap I don’t need, I can instead pay $72 and end up with 3 bottles of crap that clutter up my apartment, that, if I really did need any, I could have spent $30 on just one bottle?”  Where’s the sense in that?  (If you re-read that sentence, then you understand, it made no sense!) I tested myself by entering into stores and talking myself OUT of buying anything and was so proud of how I looked around and said, “I DON’T need that, nope, don’t need that either.  I have 3 of those…” 

And, the most empowering aspect of all is that I feel I am now in control of my money, rather than it controlling me. You see, if I can save money, and spend less, that means, if I hit a rough patch, I have the skills I need to survive it, which means, in the end, that I don’t have to be  afraid of not having money anymore, because no matter how much or how little I have, I will always have the ability to control my actions around money. 

If you’re caught in the “I can’t control my money” lie, I want to leave you with a call to action to help you be more empowered around your own money:

1.  make the decision, right now, to step out of this disempowering belief
2. find a way to educate yourself about how to save and invest money – that could be a magazine, a class, however it is that you learn best
3. figure out your spending personality – a great resource to use is Olivia Mellan’s book “Money Harmony” – which can help you determine how to approach each personality

Pass it on!

This post is for those of you out there who use the phrase “I hate my job” several times a week.  I am offering this as BOTH a podcast, and a written edition, so take your pick!!!  (Scroll to the bottom of this post to access the podcast player, or find it on iTunes!)

The more I see out there about the big changes and calamity in the world, benefits getting worse, health coverage even for working people declining, and so forth, it makes me wonder, is there not a bigger message here?  A lot of people work in jobs and claim they hate them.  However, they have felt strapped to them because of benefits. Salary, health, retirement.

Salaries in many cases are not increasing at the same rate as inflation.

Health coverage is getting worse, and employees are paying more and more out of pocket.

Retirement – who knows if many of us will even see our Social Security benefit kick in, and 401k plans aren’t a guarantee.

Maybe all of this is supposed to poke us in the eye and wake us up…..maybe all of this is a GOOD thing.

And, maybe I’m just crazy, but it seems to me, under the theory of “things happen for a reason”, there is a potentially huge wake-up call going on.  

As those benefits go away, doesn’t that just remove one of your biggest obstacles to finding work you love? 

Because, if the benefits are what’s keeping you tied down, your bonds are weakening.  Perhaps it’s time to start asking yourself, “What’s really keeping me in this job I hate that I can’t recreate doing something I love?”

Do you really think you can’t find another way to get paid?  If you were laid off, wouldn’t you start thinking more creatively?  If so, why wait till that day when you can start thinking creatively right NOW and begin forging your path?  Do you honestly believe that the thing you’ve been doing the past year, ten years, or even 40 years, is the ONLY way to succeed? Maybe it’s time to update your thoughts.

So, today’s call to action is to start arming yourself with information that can help you make a positive change in your life.  Here are some ideas:

1. Make a list of everything that is making you believe you are tied to a job you hate. (Salary? health benefits? retirement savings?….)
2. For each item on that list, research other ways you can create those benefits.  So, for example, how could you pay for health benefits if not through your job – perhaps turning to your local church/synagogue etc, or joining something like the Freelancer’s Union could offer you additional benefits.  If it’s retirement savings, research IRAs and other investments and at the very least, put aside 2 – 6% of your current income into an account that you could then transfer to an IRA or other investment after your research is complete.
3. Get in touch with what you LOVE doing and figure out how to do it.  If that’s working for a different company, start getting informational interviews there so you know what you need to do to get a job there.  If you’re an entrepreneur, brainstorm some ideas to get your business started.  If it’s a huge career change, look into what you need to get the education to be able to make the change….

The point is, universal signs seem to be pointing towards you doing something you love, so get started right now!

Today’s lie of the day is for all those of you that believe that only some people get to be happy in their jobs because “most people dont’ like their jobs.” What a disempowering thought!

Today’s podcast also features a super, awesome, funtastic, wonderful, big, freaking amazing and FREE kit to get you inspired towards your own passions. Hint – it will not be free forever, so make sure you take advantage!

I hope you’ll listen to the podcast, but either way, just click here to access your free kit!

I wonder how many of you out there have struggled to figure out your calling in life, and feel stuck in the awareness that you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do, but you can’t quite figure out what you ARE supposed to do?  Or, maybe you have an idea but can’t put it together?

So, you pretend to be happy at work, and any time you discuss other ideas with friends and family, they present all the reasons why you should NOT pursue your other ideas?

Well, listen in to today’s podcast for some inspiration and then use the FREE passion finder kit to help you figure out where you belong!  No sign-up necessary.

Have a BullBusting good time, and if you can’t see the player for the podcast, please hit the title of this post and you should then find the player.

Today’s lie of the day is one of my favorites of all time, because it’s so blatantly full of it, that it cracks me up!  And, for those of you who’ve been stuck in this disempowering thought, get ready for a dose of bullbusting that will kick you right out of it! 

If you can’t see the audio player, then simply click the title of this blog post to access its full content.

And - BONUS, get your FREE Procrastination Buster by clicking here!

Ugh, ever use this motto before?  It’s so disempowering!  And yet, it’s really easy to fall right into it, and believe it’s true for a long time.  It’s got a knack for keeping us safe from making any change in our lives.

Listen in to hear how it impacts us, and for some ideas to kick this BS motto right out of the farm!

As always, if you can’t see the play button, simply click the title of this blog post where you will be able to access it’s entire content.

Today’s Lie of the Day audio podcast includes another free BullBusting Action Guide!  The podcast is about the drama in our every day lives and how to overcome it, and how celebrities can actually play a role in that!

Once you’re done listening to the podcast (or, if you don’t fee like listening) just click here to access your free action guide!  I’d really appreciate your feedback if you do use it, and feel free to tell other people about it.

As always, don’t forget, if you have a lie of the day, you can submit them using the entry form on the sidebar to your right!

If you can’t see the play button for the podcast, just hit the title of this blog post to access the audio player.

I am getting so tired of being bombarded with images of “the perfect body” that I had to say my piece on this one!  Tune in for why I think all the magazines and TV are full of crap, and for a different way to consider your body’s perfection!

As always, if you can’t see the podcast player, simply click the title of this blog post to get to it’s individual page.

 Today’s post is on a subject I feel very passionate about; the notion that we all have to be the same, or be like most people, in order to feel good about ourselves, or to fit in.

I’m reading a fantastic book by Sir Ken Robinson, called “The Element” – which is only furthering my Bullbusting campaign!  It’s so nice to feel understood in a book, and to learn that this notion that we all need to be the same comes right from our education system, and what Sir Ken Robinson tells you in this book will blow your mind!  (It certainly blew mine away, and it may take me a while to find all the pieces!)

So, listen in as I bust through the bull on the idea we have to live a normal life to be successful.  In the end, I believe that the more we try to be like everyone else, the less likely we will stand out enough to be successful, so let’s make the effort to be successful in our own, unique ways.

Today’s lie of the day focuses on the things we feel the need to hide from other people, and what the true impact is, of hiding ourselves.

If you have someone in your life that you feel is hiding something from you, you might want to have them listen to this podcast.

And, WARNING – there is a slightly disturbing visual at the end of the podcast – probably should not be shared with anyone under 18, lol!

If you can’t see the play button, just hit the title of this blog post to get to the full post where you will find the media player.

As always, pass this on to anyone you think needs to hear it, and I added a Facebook like page, if you like the podcast, like away!

This podcast was inspired by the new TV show, “Once Upon a Time.”  It’s about our tendency to blame other people for making our life crappy, or limiting our possibilities, and so forth.

Have a listen for how this impacts you, what the truth really is, and what you can do about it!

If you can’t see the audio file, just hit the title of this blog posting and you’ll be directed to the full post.  And, please pass it on!

We use this excuse all the time!  It has a huge impact on decision making when you let all the other people, places, and priorities in your life take control.

So, have a listen to why your life is no more complicated than you make it, and for a great BullBusting tip to make your life and your decisions easier!

If you can’t see the audio player, open up the blog post.  And, feel free to pass it on.

This is a true story about me singing karaoke at a bar in California, and what I learned by confronting one of my biggest fears!

If my other podcasts about excuses to hold yourself back from doing something haven’t sunk in yet, you’ll definitely want to listen to this one.  If you can’t see the podcast, then just hit the title of this blog post to access the full post, where you will find the audio player.

Hope you enjoy it!

…in person, anyways, but that’s not the point of today’s Lie of the Day.  How many times in your life have you had an opportunity – perhaps to talk to someone, or to apply for a competition, or a job, or meet someone – and you talked yourself out of it with phrases like “I can’t talk to them, they’re famous,” “There’s no point applying for the competition.  It’s too much work, and I won’t win anyways,” “Why meet them, they won’t like me or I won’t like them,”….and so forth?

This is a true story of mine, to illustrate why “seizing the day” and “Grabbing the Bull” are important skills!  I’m publishing it today, especially, because today would have been my grandpa’s birthday, if he were still alive, and he definitely inspired me to talk to everyone I could. 

Back in January of this year, I had the wonderful opportunity to visit the Apple Campus in California.  I happily accepted.  I got a badge, and a tour.  The tour started in the lobby – it’s huge, with the biggest, most gigantic screen I’ve ever seen, full of amazing Apple products, and apps and I was mesmerized.  Then my guide said to me, “Don’t look, but that’s Steve over there.”  Duh!  Of course I looked.  There was Steve Jobs, sitting on a couch, by himself, in the middle of the Apple lobby. 

“How come no one is talking to him,” I asked.

“They’re too intimidated,” came the reply.

“Is it ok if I go talk to him?” I asked.

“Um, sure, let me just go to the other side of the lobby so I can pretend I’m not with you,” my friend replied.

At this point, I looked over at Steve, busily tapping away at his iPhone.  A moment of fear overtook me. 

But then I thought, “How many times in my life will I be in the same room as Steve Jobs?  And, of all those times, how many will I find him ALONE in that room?”

That was enough for me!  I marched over to him, excused myself for interrupting, and told him I loved his products, and thanked him for his innovation.  He looked up, said “thanks,” and went back to his iPhone.  OK, so I didn’t have a lasting impact, but who cares?  Today, I am even more glad that I took this opportunity – to actually have a semi-conversation with such an innovative person that I admired, now that I know if I hadn’t taken that opportunity, it, literally, would never have happened again. 

If this example isn’t powerful enough for you – perhaps there is someone you want to ask out, or someone who asked you out and you haven’t decided yet.  Perhaps you have an opportunity to travel but have to risk a job, perhaps there is an audition you’re talking yourself out of….whatever it is, I hope, for you, that you might have your amazing opportunity come by more than once.  But, what if you didn’t?  Are you willing to live the rest of your life wondering,

“What might have happend if I had only…”?

So, next time you find yourself confronted with an amazing opportunity and realize you are making excuse after excuse about why you can NOT go for it, here are a few tips to bust your bull:

1. Check in with yourself – what is the fear you are (or are not) expressing, behind those excuses?
2. Is the fear a valid one, or are you just being a chicken who is full of bull?  (Good analogy, right?  It’s like the pretzel in the M&M….)
3. What do you imagine, is the worst thing that would happen, if you GO FOR IT?
4. How would you feel if this were the only chance you’d ever get in your life to do this, and you passed it by?  Can you live with that?
5. Really, can you live with that?
6. What, do you think, could be the greatest outcome imagineable, if you do take this opportunity?

Do you have other ideas for a future “Lie of the Day”?  Use the submission button on my blog to suggest it!

I decided that today’s Lie of the Day needed to be a video! This one is all about that idea we often have that we have to do everything ourselves, and how limiting it is. I have photos for you so you can watch me bust through that lie myself (in near real time!) and some comments along the way to make your viewing experience more enjoyable.

Let me know what you think!

Really?  Seriously, you think keeping yourself and everyone around you in limbo is a good thing?  Then you need to listen to this podcast.  The one who is often hurt the most by staying in limbo is YOU, and it’s not just feelings I’m talking about!  (Sign up for my free newsletter for more reasons if you need them!)

This lie of the day will hopefully help you understand why you need to get OUT of limbo as soon as you can!  If you can’t see the podcast, click the title of this post for the full article.  Pass it on to your friends, and feel free to use the link on the right to suggest your own lie of the day topic for a future podcast!