http://thebullbustercafe.com Tue, 21 May 2013 11:37:05 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 Copyright © The BullBuster Cafe 2011 heather@bustyourbull.com (The BullBuster) heather@bustyourbull.com (The BullBuster) 1440 http://thebullbustercafe.com/wp-content/themes/lifestyle_30/images/logo.png http://thebullbustercafe.com 144 144 Bust through your bull and better your life truth, bull, busting, comedy, humor The BullBuster The BullBuster heather@bustyourbull.com no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/we-are-delayed-because-of-train-traffic-ahead-of-us/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=we-are-delayed-because-of-train-traffic-ahead-of-us http://thebullbustercafe.com/we-are-delayed-because-of-train-traffic-ahead-of-us/#comments Tue, 19 Feb 2013 12:34:46 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=1714 http://thebullbustercafe.com/we-are-delayed-because-of-train-traffic-ahead-of-us/feed/ 2 0:04:42 (This blog post is also available as an MP3 audio file, which you will find at the bottom of this post!)     The other day, stuck in the belly of the New York City subway, I was struck by this all-to-often heard comment, “We are de[...] (This blog post is also available as an MP3 audio file, which you will find at the bottom of this post!)     The other day, stuck in the belly of the New York City subway, I was struck by this all-to-often heard comment, “We are delayed because of train traffic ahead of us.“ This simple, but way overused phrase plugs right into our conditioning to blame something else for our current problem.  It takes the responsibility off of us, and we can’t be blamed because “it’s not our fault”, and we step into our perceived state of powerlessness – believing we cannot change our current challenge, and so we sit, idly, complaining about our predicament, or believing we just have to put up with it because, “it is what it is.” And, it’s so EASY to do!  Blaming the boss, or the spouse, or the economy for your current plight makes you feel a lot better about your belief that you can’t do anything to change your circumstances.  So, you sit there waiting, waiting WAITING for circumstances to change….days become weeks, which become years, by which point, you have now proven you are powerless to change your circumstances…. The subway is delayed because the transit system has a recurring issue they have failed to find a good solution to.  Honestly, if you have the same problem, every day, and you blame proverbial “traffic”, your result will never change – you will always be stuck and delayed! Blaming the problem for the problem, does not make a solution to it! Unless you actually enjoy being stuck, and you do not want to change your circumstances, at some point, you have to stop playing the blame game, and step up to a new game – one where you are playing for different results in  your life!  The only way to believe that you have the power to change your circumstances is to take action.  And, when you take action, and the results don’t happen right away, you have to have the courage to change the action, rather than use it to prove, yet again, that you are stuck in a situation you cannot change. Here are a few tips on how to shift from being stuck in your life, to steering your life: Stop blaming your circumstances on someone or something else.  Start looking at what actions YOU are currently using over and over again that are not working for you. Once you have a handle on what’s not working, think about how YOU can behave or act differently within your current area of frustration. See what happens, when YOU behave differently.  How does your behavior impact your challenge? If it’s still not the result you want, figure out how to shift your action once again.  If you shift your situation in the direction you want, YIPPPEE!  Go celebrate the power you just stepped into to change your life! Want more ideas to shift the BS in your life?  Sign up for free BullBusting Video Training!  Designed to help you move out of stuck, and into empowered, and laugh along the way – CLICK HERE to learn more! Inspiration, Podcast, Productivity The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/corporations-want-innovative-ideas/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=corporations-want-innovative-ideas http://thebullbustercafe.com/corporations-want-innovative-ideas/#comments Tue, 04 Sep 2012 13:22:53 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=1295 http://thebullbustercafe.com/corporations-want-innovative-ideas/feed/ 0 0:06:27 Today’s Lie of the Day is one that comes to us via some of the companies we work for, and is available as both a podcast and as an article.  Large corporations are on the lookout for innovation.  It’s a great buzzword I hear over and over – [...] Today’s Lie of the Day is one that comes to us via some of the companies we work for, and is available as both a podcast and as an article.  Large corporations are on the lookout for innovation.  It’s a great buzzword I hear over and over – they want clever ideas, clever thoughts, the next great idea….but some of them don’t seem realize that they are stomping out innovation with processes and regulations.  The bulk of innovation sewage (the place where great ideas get stopped up), in my opinion, comes from the expectations and judgements of where ideas should come from, and how they should look.  I am referring to two areas:   1 – how a person looks, and behaves and 2 – levels of leadership Both these areas have a direct impact on whether an idea is well received and implemented, or shut down. The basic truth about innovation is that it usually relies on an environment that supports creativity.  When it comes to dress and behavior, different people find creativity in different ways.  Some spike their hair, some write on their t-shirts, others wear bright nail polish or dye their hair brighter.  Unfortunately, many of these creative expressions are not acceptable in corporate.  Think about my website – it’s pretty creative, and I’ve got a lot of ideas, but would you consider my website fitting the typical corporate mold?  (Probably not!) And since it doesn’t, are you listening to the judgments that just entered your mind about a corporate mold?  It’s hard to be innovative when you’re in mold, and not just because of its look and smell….budump-buh!   And, isn’t it ironic, for those of you that may see my site as funny and creative, that you wouldn’t naturally line me up with corporate?  And that’s just because I’ve been creative and innovative in an outside-the-box way, which, hello!, is just what corporate said they wanted! Interesting paradox, isn’t it?  When you’re supposed to dress, talk and act like everyone else, where does originality have a shot? That feels to me like telling someone to stay in the box, but think outside it, which is mighty tough when you feel constantly boxed in!  I have to wonder if lots of employees get great ideas when they’re home, or driving or cooking their favorite meal because they can be comfortable being themselves.    At the end of the day, an employee that dresses funny or brightly won’t seem so bad when they bring you an idea that results in $20 million, will they?  So, is it more important that employees look and act corporate, or is it more important to create innovative solutions to problems that lead to increased profits?  Now, certainly, we can take this conversation in many directions – should the slob who never cleans up his desk or showers and feels most innovative in the nude be allowed to scatter his belongings everywhere, shed his clothing and smell bad at work in the name of creativity?  Should the person that finds creativity in cursing every other word be allowed to walk around the office shouting expletives all day?  No, I’m not suggesting that harmful behavior be excused in the name of creativity.  What I am suggesting is that sometimes innovative people don’t look “normal” – they don’t necessarily wear suits and ties, speak corporate speak, or arrive to work on time.  They might just wear colorful clothing, spike their hair (yes it is possible to have clean hair that sticks up straight!) and work flexible hours.  Innovation is only acceptable if it comes from the right level. To my point about innovation and levels, I’ve noticed that in many companies, there are some exceptional ideas for innovation at the “bottom”.  Unfortunately, when lower level employees suggest an idea, one of two things generally happens – the great ideas are poached by that person’s leadership team, who take it over, implement it, advance their careers, and don’t give a drop of credit to the originator,  or, the employee is deemed [...] corporate, mold, corporate, paradigm, corporate, speak, innovation, paradox, stuck, in, a, corporate The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/bullbusting-on-the-radio/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=bullbusting-on-the-radio http://thebullbustercafe.com/bullbusting-on-the-radio/#comments Fri, 27 Jul 2012 12:38:11 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=1290 http://thebullbustercafe.com/bullbusting-on-the-radio/feed/ 0 http://thebullbustercafe.com/rejection-sucks/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rejection-sucks http://thebullbustercafe.com/rejection-sucks/#comments Tue, 17 Jul 2012 11:47:53 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=1138 http://thebullbustercafe.com/rejection-sucks/feed/ 0 0:04:43 [Podcast is available at the bottom of this blog post.  If you don't see it, click the title of the post, and you should be brought over to the full post where you will find the player!] For a change-up, Negative Nancy has a guest appearance today![...] [Podcast is available at the bottom of this blog post.  If you don't see it, click the title of the post, and you should be brought over to the full post where you will find the player!] For a change-up, Negative Nancy has a guest appearance today!  (If you don’t know who that is, check out the welcome video on the Home page of www.thebullbustercafe.com)  So, you can’t truly appreciate today’s lie of the day unless you LISTEN to it! Suffice to say, though rejection may hurt, it doesn’t really suck.  Why not?  You will just have to listen in for my take on why rejection can be a good thing!    And no, I am not drunk…but – SPOILER ALERT – I am in one of my upcoming videos!  Business, General, Podcast The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/its-not-easy/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=its-not-easy http://thebullbustercafe.com/its-not-easy/#comments Tue, 26 Jun 2012 10:36:27 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=940 http://thebullbustercafe.com/its-not-easy/feed/ 0 0:04:04 [Podcast is available at the bottom of this post.] I met someone recently at an event, and in less than 5 minutes, whenever he discussed his work, he told me, “it’s not easy”.  Whenever he said it, he looked dejected, a sort of blank stare overtook[...] [Podcast is available at the bottom of this post.] I met someone recently at an event, and in less than 5 minutes, whenever he discussed his work, he told me, “it’s not easy”.  Whenever he said it, he looked dejected, a sort of blank stare overtook his face, and I felt like he was fading into some invisible shell.  So, the third time he said this phrase to me, I told him, “you know, that’s the third time you’ve told me it’s not easy.  Did you want it to be difficult?”  Happily, he didn’t slap me or throw his drink at me!  He did, instead, look like he was slapped with a realization of how he had been perceiving his life. And, it looked like he was woken up from a deep sleep, ready to move to something greater.  I have to wonder if some of us aren’t proud to carry around “it’s not easy” like a literal ball and chain to help us put up with how tough things are, and then feel good about sitting around dejected feeling we can’t change anything because “it’s not easy”.  The “it’s not easy” motto is excellent to use if you want to spend hours watching TV instead of making cold calls to see if you can develop a business opportunity.  I mean, why bother, since “it’s not easy?”  It’s also a perfect way to avoid improving or changing anything in the relationship you’re now unhappy in.  Since “it’s not easy,” I guess you should just put up with being unhappy….  Carrying “It’s not Easy” in your subconscious thoughts is like being a 300 pound cop trying to run down a thief skating away on roller blades….you’ll run, and you’ll really want to catch the thief, but at some point, you’ll realize “it’s not easy” and rather than get in your cop car and overtake the rapid robber, you’ll stop running, grab a donut, and call for backup. If you’re trying to start, or maintain, a business, “it’s not easy” can help you take a long time to get things done, avoid risks, and, eventually, give up.  Is that what you want? The question is, do you WANT your work, your life, your relationship…to be easy?  Then how about thinking “it’s easy” – because I’ll bet, if you had to put your mind to an easy path to what you want, you’d probably find it.   So, you’re call to action is – if you have read or listened to this podcast and realize you’re carrying around your own form of the “it’s not easy” motto, change it right now!  Say out loud, right now, “it’s easy!”  Begin to think about, “if it were easy, how would I do this?”  And stand by for the answer! disempowering, how, to, make, it, easy, it's, not, easy, why, is, it The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/assume-the-worst/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=assume-the-worst http://thebullbustercafe.com/assume-the-worst/#comments Tue, 19 Jun 2012 12:02:35 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=936 http://thebullbustercafe.com/assume-the-worst/feed/ 2 0:04:24 [Podcast is available at the bottom of this post, and, well, I got a wee bit excited over this one, so I might be shouting at parts - turn the volume down!!] Have you ever noticed that when a friend or romantic partner doesn’t call when they said t[...] [Podcast is available at the bottom of this post, and, well, I got a wee bit excited over this one, so I might be shouting at parts - turn the volume down!!] Have you ever noticed that when a friend or romantic partner doesn’t call when they said they would, you assume it’s your fault?  We assume, and figure it’s obvious that the reason they didn’t call is because they’re mad at us, so we have to analyze every moment of time between our last interaction with them and today to figure out what it could be.  And, if we can’t figure out the reason, then we make one up.  You know, like, maybe you shouldn’t have agreed their boss is a complete idiot because now they have to go to work feeling even worse about their job and that’s all because of you. Or no, it must be that when they showed you the new shirt they bought, and you said you thought they looked better in blue then yellow, they figured you meant they need to wear darker colors to hide their huge gut, and they don’t even have a gut, and oh, geez, now you’ve called them fat, no wonder they haven’t called, so you better call them NOW and apologize for even insinuating that they are obese at 5 foot 5 and 110 pounds….  What a waste of mental energy!  All this time you’re trying to find fault with yourself, and blame yourself for someone else’s behavior, you could have been enjoying a book, getting work done, or not boring your friend with all the anxiety this over-analysis is causing you.  (Or, you could have enjoyed that bottle of wine you just polished off, rather than using it to drown your shame and guilt ….)  Let’s consider the other side – when you don’t call someone right back, for example, don’t you usually have a reason?  Maybe you got an unexpected phone call that lasted so long it was too late to call your friend back.  Maybe your kids came in and needed dinner early so you had to cook and then you were exhausted, or, you just plain forgot?   Isn’t it possible that the reason for this other person’s behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you?  (Sorry to burst your bubble on that one!)  Today’s Call to Action is – if you find yourself stressing over someone else’s behavior, assume the BEST.  Replace your negative thinking, with thoughts like, “She got so inspired from our last conversation that she through out all her crap and is now enjoying the clean uncluttered space of her apartment” (that would be me, lol!) or “He got that job offer and now he’s so busy doing work he loves that he hasn’t had a minute to call me back.” and if that doesn’t work, how about “maybe they were walking down the street, walked right through a movie set, and offered a leading role in a tv show and said yes!” Hopefully, by switching your thinking, you will find a renewed sense of energy, and, when you do speak to that person again, you will be excited to talk to them, instead of resentful. assume, the, worst, how, to, assume, the, best, why, didn't, he, call The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/most-people-dont-so-you-wont/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=most-people-dont-so-you-wont http://thebullbustercafe.com/most-people-dont-so-you-wont/#comments Tue, 12 Jun 2012 08:39:55 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=929 http://thebullbustercafe.com/most-people-dont-so-you-wont/feed/ 0 0:04:03 [Podcast is available at the bottom of this article.] Has anyone explained to you that the crazy idea you have is a bad one because “most people” don’t succeed at it?  Growing up, I had that ingrained in me – that “most people[...] [Podcast is available at the bottom of this article.] Has anyone explained to you that the crazy idea you have is a bad one because “most people” don’t succeed at it?  Growing up, I had that ingrained in me – that “most people” don’t get rich, make it as an actor, get their book published, have their life pan out exactly as they want it…..what complete bullshit!  First off, who is this “most people” that I let people refer to when telling them about me and my dreams?  Why are they talking about “most people” when I am giving my passionate diatribe on the rhyme and reason of my “madness”?  Why is it that just because a statistical analysis has shown that only 1 – 2% of people “make it as an actor” that you or I couldn’t fall into that percentage if we gave our time, dedication, and passion?  Just because “most authors” don’t end up with a published book like “Harry Potter” why does that mean yours won’t? I believe the truth is, If you compare yourself with most people, and are trying to be like most people, you’ll talk yourself right out of becoming the person that does become the 1 – 2% of people that do succeed, get rich off their crazy idea, and live the life of your dreams.  This “most people” logic is the perfect one to use if you plan NOT to succeed.  It’s the perfect way to talk you out of trying, or, if you do try, to half-ass your attempts since you’re planning, and envisioning, ending up like “most people.” My question is, why are you thinking this way?  What if you are the 1% that will succeed, how can you give up on yourself?  You may be destined to get rich off your idea, publish that blockbuster novel, or catapult to the best actor, so why listen to the people that don’t believe it’s possible?  After all, aren’t the heros of the stories and movies we love the most based around the character that, against all odds, with everyone saying “no” “not a good idea” “you’ll never make it”….goes for it anyway?  Today’s call to action is – stop living in fear, grab the bull by the balls and be the superhero of your own life!  Give it 100% of your effort and dedication to see if it’s meant to be.  And, if you’re reading this article and feel you’ve already tried really hard and “failed”, then write down everything you’ve done, and everything you’ve tried, and try a different approach that you haven’t before. Want tips for a business idea you’ve been thinking about?  Head on over to The BullBuster Boardroom for helpful free tips! can, my, idea, work, do, I, have, a, good, idea, most, people The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/one-size-fits-all/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=one-size-fits-all http://thebullbustercafe.com/one-size-fits-all/#comments Tue, 05 Jun 2012 10:07:09 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=924 http://thebullbustercafe.com/one-size-fits-all/feed/ 0 0:04:36 [Podcast is available at the bottom of this post, and you will enjoy the sound of firetruck sirens and New York City street noise in the background!] When you think “One Size Fits All” you probably go right to clothing where this common[...] [Podcast is available at the bottom of this post, and you will enjoy the sound of firetruck sirens and New York City street noise in the background!] When you think “One Size Fits All” you probably go right to clothing where this common size finds its way onto many a size rack.  What does that even mean?  As a petite person, when I try on an article of clothing that’s “one size fits all”, I often disappear under many folds of fabric, or look like I’m a 4-year-old trying on mommy’s outfit.  When each of us gets clothing, we have specific tastes, and specific ideas of how clothing should fit – loose, tight, something in-between.  So how is it possible for one garment to think it can fit anyone? There’s a lot of misunderstanding in the “one-size-fits-all” mentality because the individual gets lost.  It starts with education where we’re tossed into a school teaching us all the same subjects, the same way.  (At least when I was a kid, that’s how it was!)  Some people learn visually, others are auditory learners, and some learn best by reading.  So, how is it possible for each student to come away “educated” when their particular learning style may not fit the one being used? How about marriage?  There’s this “institution” of marriage and rules and how marriage is supposed to look, but in reality, some want to be married, some do not.  Some want kids, others don’t or can’t have them.  Some have “conventional” marriages, others are highly unconventional.  So, how can one marriage institution fit all of us? And, what about your job?  You go to the office, you are told how to sell, how to market, how to do your reports, but in the end, everyone on your team is a unique person with different strengths and skillsets, so how can it be possible to give everyone one way to accomplish things?  It just doesn’t make sense! So, your call to action for today is to look at parts of your life in which you’re less than happy (job, relationship, financial situation) and become aware of where you are living a One-Size-Fits-All existence that isn’t working for you.  Ask yourself – where are you following rules that don’t feel like rules that work for you? If you could break or change those rules what would they become, and how would that make you feel? For more BullBusting Tips, sign up for Gladyss’ kick-ass tips here! fitting, in, not, fitting, in, one, size, fits, all The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/its-a-bargain/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=its-a-bargain http://thebullbustercafe.com/its-a-bargain/#comments Tue, 29 May 2012 12:33:30 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=914 http://thebullbustercafe.com/its-a-bargain/feed/ 0 0:04:50 (This is offered as a podcast as well, see below for the podcast player.)  For anyone out there struggling with money, this will be good for you!  Too many times, we are smacked in the face with what seems like a deal we can’t refuse, and we[...] (This is offered as a podcast as well, see below for the podcast player.)  For anyone out there struggling with money, this will be good for you!  Too many times, we are smacked in the face with what seems like a deal we can’t refuse, and we rush in and buy something, tempted by saving money, and in the process, we sabotage our wallet, our budget, and potentially add to any struggling you have with money.  Stores love to help us justify parting with our cash, and they do a damn good job of it, too.  Just a few weeks ago, I got tricked myself!  I was in my grocery store, and my favorite yogurt was on sale – 5 for $5!  I was so excited.  I didn’t really need 5, but since they are normally more expensive, I couldn’t resist the bargain, and picked out my favorite 5 flavors.  Then I got to the cash register and felt like a big dummy.  The yogurts came up as $1 each.  So, I could have bought just 1 or 2 yogurts, not 5.  I felt so duped and foolish that I couldn’t even find the words to tell the cashier to put 3 of them back.  (Not to mention the long line behind me who would have been pissed off at me figuring out which 3 to get rid of!) Other ways we get tricked are when we “buy one, get %50 off the second item.”  That’s really 25% off each, and now, instead of spending, say $75, you’re roped in to parting with more cash on a second item you might not actually need.  The worst thing you can do to your budget is to go shopping because there’s a sale, even though you do not need anything. So, here is your Call to Action for today!  PAY ATTENTION.  Try making a list of what you need, and waiting for a sale to buy it Notice what are, and are not, good deals.  If an item you need, such as paper towels, is on sale for, say, $7 for 4 rolls, when 2 rolls normally cost $6, you’ve just cut your per roll price from $3 down to about $1.75.  Again, if you need and will use paper towels, great deal!  But, if you use one roll of paper towels a year, then you’ve just made more clutter, and wasted money. PAY ATTENTION especially, to your items being rung up.  I can’t tell you how many times I have noticed a discount fail to be applied, and thank goodness I noticed it to be able to tell the cashier and get it fixed. Think a dose of financial bullbusting might be right for you?  Click here to set up a complimentary interview with The BullBuster herself! bargain, shopping, budget, discounts, how, to, save, money The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-speak-in-front-of-audiences/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-cant-speak-in-front-of-audiences http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-speak-in-front-of-audiences/#comments Tue, 22 May 2012 11:53:33 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=899 http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-speak-in-front-of-audiences/feed/ 0 0:05:23 (Podcast is available at the bottom of this article!) Speaking in front of audiences is a fear many people have.  That’s unfortunate because many people have to speak in front of people for work if that’s their job, and, if you’re[...] (Podcast is available at the bottom of this article!) Speaking in front of audiences is a fear many people have.  That’s unfortunate because many people have to speak in front of people for work if that’s their job, and, if you’re an entrepreneur, speaking in front of large groups is a great way to get more exposure for your business, and you’re missing out by believing that you can’t do it. I think some of the biggest fears that are easy to hold on to are: “I’m gonna suck, and people won’t think I did a good job.” “People will laugh at me.” “I might get tongue-tied and not be able to speak because I will freeze up from fear.” And so forth.  Well, in my book, there are really only 3 possible outcomes of any person daring to speak on stage, and here they are: You will suck.  No, really, you will totally bomb, fail miserably, and people will walk out of the room early because you’re so bad.  If you do this, guess what?  You just gave everyone in that room a great story!  Instead of complaining about whatever crap in their life that’s been dragging them down, they can now focus on you and realize that their life is now much better because, at least they did not make an ass of themselves in front of lots of people!  And, so, you allowed everyone in the room to be happier in their own lives – pretty great if you ask me!  They will go home and tell a good story when they get there.  Oh, and you get to learn from your mistakes, which you simply cannot be more lucky to do – you took the risk to fail, and now, it’s going to allow you to succeed – never forget that! You will make people laugh….possibly AT you, not with you.  Good job!  So what if people laugh at you because you dress funny, you’re weird, your presentation was funny…that means you got people laughing.  In my book, that’s a great thing.  Laughter means everyone in the room is happy, and you did that!  Laughter, if you haven’t read about it, is also great medecine – by making everyone in the room laugh, you just made them healthier!  Well done! You will inspire people.  Even if, for the very fact that you ventured onto the stage, scared as shit, not sure you could do it, and taking the risk to fail, you could, potentially, inspire other people.  How great is that?  You have no idea how your very presence in front of a room full of people could leave a lasting, positive impression. Today’s call to action is – get out there and get speaking!  Start by taking a class, maybe with Toastmasters, or a workshop on speaking, to learn some good speaking strategies.  Next, put together a brief presentation and practice it – use friends, the mirror, or a video camera!  Try it out, practice it, and eventually you will get more comfortable with the material.  Finally, go do it!  If you have the luxury to choose, start with a small audience.  Learn your strengths, learn your weaknesses, and most of all, learn from mistakes.   afraid, of, audience, fear, of, public, speaking, mastering, public, speaking, public, speaking The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/my-needs-dont-matter/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=my-needs-dont-matter http://thebullbustercafe.com/my-needs-dont-matter/#comments Tue, 15 May 2012 10:23:16 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=895 http://thebullbustercafe.com/my-needs-dont-matter/feed/ 0 0:04:11 (You can access the podcast at the bottom of this article.) This is a tricky lie of the day! Surely, you are not actively using this tought, or walking around believing that your needs don’t matter.  Sadly, this one sits deep underneath our c[...] (You can access the podcast at the bottom of this article.) This is a tricky lie of the day! Surely, you are not actively using this tought, or walking around believing that your needs don’t matter.  Sadly, this one sits deep underneath our conscious thoughts, so we don’t even know we’re thinking it. It’s the belief that you are supporting every time you make an excuse to not go to the gym, not get your hair done, not eat good food, not have alone time, and so forth.  It’s so damn easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else’s needs and find validation doing it, because, oh, “I’d be selfish if I put my own needs first…”!!!!!!!!  Actually, you are being selfish to yourself by not taking care of your own needs. I realized I was using this very thought this week, when I got a massage.  It dawned on me that it was the first massage I’ve had all year.  As the pain in my body got attention, and thus stopped hurting (yes, because, sometimes your physical pain just needs some loving attention, too) I realized I spent 5 months making excuses about why I couldn’t get a massage.  Time and money were at the top of the list.  But, with the recent Spa Week, I found a $50 massage and decided to treat myself.  And, I then thought of canceling it, can you believe it?  Thank goodness I did not.  Here is what happened during my massage: I relaxed My body stopped hurting I felt nurtured, and I had myself to thank for allowing it to happen, so I felt grateful My mind drifted in a relaxed state of meditation Creative thoughts entered my mind with no effort I came up with the idea for this blog post! So, why had I spent all that time making excuses to treat myself nicely?  I couldn’t think of one good reason. Whether you are single, married, a parent, an entrepreneur, have a job, don’t have a job….you deserve to have your needs met, and you do matter.  And, sometimes, you need to show yourself that more than lament that other people don’t treat you with importance – because it starts with you. So, today’s call to action is to treat yourself with some respect this week.  Focus on a need you have that you have not met in a long time.  Make this about you, not someone else.  Do you need alone time?  Do you want a facial?  Do you need some girl or guy time?  What is something you really enjoy that you’ve been putting off?  When you find it, create a way to nurture that need, ideally this week, but if you can’t then find some time in the next month.  You’ll be glad you did!  4J5JEFW3WCAJ   honoring, my, needs, I, matter, make, myself, matter, my, needs, self, respect The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-never-accomplish-anything/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-never-accomplish-anything http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-never-accomplish-anything/#comments Tue, 08 May 2012 12:55:32 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=890 http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-never-accomplish-anything/feed/ 0 0:05:28 (Podcast available at the end of this article – and it’s more animated! ) I recently realized I had gotten into a habit of beating myself up for all the stuff I didn’t get done.  I pointed out to myself that I neglected to clean [...] (Podcast available at the end of this article – and it’s more animated! ) I recently realized I had gotten into a habit of beating myself up for all the stuff I didn’t get done.  I pointed out to myself that I neglected to clean off my dining table, hadn’t gotten very far on designing my website, didn’t make an appointment to get my hair cut…..wow, it’s so damn easy to find all that stuff I didn’t get around to! The list got longer and longer, and I found myself feeling pretty demotivated.  What kind of person doesn’t get their hair cut, after all?  And, how lazy am I that I didn’t finish my website yet? Hey, any of this crappy line of thinking sound familiar?  If it does, then you know how much it SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I finally got so damn tired of beating myself up, that I decided to prove myself wrong.  I went to Staples (for any of you reading this from another country, that’s our local Office Supply retail chain) and bought a Weekly calendar, and I used it to create a Done List (Yes, it’s so important, I had to put that in it’s own box!)  The Done List is NOT about writing down what you have yet to get done, and checking it off.  NO NO NO, all those reminders were not what I wanted.  Instead, at the end of each day, I have been writing down what I got done!  In other words, all my accomplishments for the day.  Let me give you a few from the past week, because I am now really proud of myself, and I feel like sharing: Coached 4 clients Updated a part of my website that I just could not figure out how to do, and finally figured out! Went to Zumba class twice Had a girl’s sleepover party!! Saved $700 on a medical bill! Holy shit, I still can’t believe that one. Enjoyed a lunchtime walk in the park with two friends My list for the week is MUCH longer, and I eagerly approach each evening now, with what I got done.  And, despite what you think, it is not difficult!  Sometimes, I might be celebrating watching TV or reading a book, sometimes, I am honoring a positive step towards a difficulty in my life.  I got to see that I am making time in my life for fun, well-being, work, and fulfillment – leaving me feeling more balanced, and more inspired to keep accomplishing more. So, today’s call to action is – get out there and create your own Done List!  It can be in any form you wish – on the computer, a piece of paper, a dry-erase board, a calendar… – just spend each evening writing down the accomplishments you got done today.  It can be one thing, it can be many, there are no rules.  It can be “big” or “small”, alone or with someone – anything that allows you to realize you rock and you kick ass, and keep doing it! accomplishments, getting, stuff, done, inspiration, lack, of, accomplishments, motivation, what, I, want The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-publish-my-website-until-its-perfect/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-cant-publish-my-website-until-its-perfect http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-publish-my-website-until-its-perfect/#comments Tue, 01 May 2012 12:31:42 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=868 http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-publish-my-website-until-its-perfect/feed/ 0 0:05:24 I can’t tell you how much I hear this lie or some version of it!  I hear and see it so much, that I am going to make this a podcast and a blog so you can really let the message sink in, !  (Scroll to the bottom of this post for the podcast.) [...] I can’t tell you how much I hear this lie or some version of it!  I hear and see it so much, that I am going to make this a podcast and a blog so you can really let the message sink in, !  (Scroll to the bottom of this post for the podcast.) If you’re a sole proprietor launching a business, every day you hold off publishing your website, is just one more day you deny everyone the pleasure of finding you.  Entrepreneurs, sole proprietors, and small business owners, especially, seem to really struggle with having to get things perfect before they put them out to the world.  You have to know all the pages that will go on your site, the text has to be perfect, your message has to be perfectly clear and concise, spelling and grammar must be checked…..yes, it’s true, having a professional looking site is a good idea, but it takes time to get your site to the point that it’s “perfect” – in quotes because, quite honestly, your opinion of perfection is going to change every few weeks or months, and you will be making changes and updates all the time!  So, what are you waiting for? I hate to break it to you, but when you do publish your site, even if you have grandiose music playing in your mind, and wait for the stars to align, have a glass of champagne at the ready, and your heart thumps loudly, no one will know you launched it but you!  Unless, of course, you told your parents and friends, and then, maybe 6 people will know.  It takes time to get people to know about your website, even if you launch right into mad advertising! In an effort to inspire those of you who are putting off the publication of your site because you’re waiting to think it’s perfect, I am going to let you use me as a guinea pig!  So, I have not officially launched it yet, BUT, I have a new BullBusting venture coming.  It’s called, The BullBuster Boardroom and will be a place for busting the bull standing in the way of financial empowerment and business success.  The site is actually live, but I am nowhere near done filling in the text, and explanations that will go there. So, as of this blog posting, May 1st, 2012, if you go to the boardroom now, at www.thebullbusterboardroom.com, you will see a really incomplete website.  It’s got a lot of work to go, and your call to action for today is to feel free to check back to that site every week or two, and watch it develop.  You will see me figuring out the right words, the right layout, the whole thing in action!  And, may my incompleteness inspire you to just get your own business out there, and relish in the development process, imperfections and all! blog, publish, my, site, should, my, site, be, perfect, before, I, publish The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-accomplish-my-new-years-resolution/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-cant-accomplish-my-new-years-resolution http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-accomplish-my-new-years-resolution/#comments Tue, 17 Apr 2012 15:50:38 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=830 http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-accomplish-my-new-years-resolution/feed/ 0 0:05:04 Oops, remember that little New Year’s Resolution you made?  Did it kind of slide toward the bottom of your priority list already?  Hey, the year’s not even half over yet, so you still have time! But, I wanted to explore this one because[...] Oops, remember that little New Year’s Resolution you made?  Did it kind of slide toward the bottom of your priority list already?  Hey, the year’s not even half over yet, so you still have time! But, I wanted to explore this one because, why is it that we feel so empowered in January, and then drift off in that empowerment feeling by the end of January? AND, guess what?  Today’s podcast has another FREE action guide for you to download!  Just CLICK HERE and get your copy – no sign up required. new, year's, resolution, proactive, reactive, resolutions The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-control-my-money/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-cant-control-my-money http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-control-my-money/#comments Tue, 03 Apr 2012 11:31:04 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=814 http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-control-my-money/feed/ 0 0:09:13 Today’s lie of the day is available as BOTH a podcast and in writing.  The podcast is a bit more intimate and animated, but take your pick, or try both! This lie was one plagued me for a long time! When it comes to money, I have been really[...] Today’s lie of the day is available as BOTH a podcast and in writing.  The podcast is a bit more intimate and animated, but take your pick, or try both! This lie was one plagued me for a long time! When it comes to money, I have been really fantastic at spending it.  I had a great time doing it, too!  My theory was, if I have money, why save it?  It gives me power to have what I want, RIGHT NOW, what fun! Whenever I tried to take a time out and learn about money, or my finances, I literally got anxious, like looking at numbers literally made me sick. Money is such an interesting thing – it comes, it goes, we like to keep it, we like to spend it, and finding a balance can be pretty damn tough. I was living this lie for years – believing that “I don’t understand money” and “I don’t get how to save money”.  And the wonderful thing about these lies was that they allowed me to spend, spend, spend!  And, when I saw something I wanted, there was no thought wasted.  I wanted it, I deserved it, I bought it!  I ended up with clothes I never wore, books I never read, and an apartment full of crap, cluttering up my bookcases, my tables, and sometimes the floor.  Once in a while, I would have some credit card debt, and as soon as I paid it off, I of course deserved a reward and would run back out and buy more stuff to celebrate! More clothes, more books, more of everything I already had 25 of but couldn’t find because they were stuffed behind all the other crap in front of it…  And then, I finally had enough. I decided if I could survive my childhood, live in other countries where I had to learn the language to make it by (and did!),and  negotiate Verizon into cutting down my 3-month lead time for DSL service to 2 weeks, then dammit, I can learn how to manage my own money.  And wouldn’t you know it, no sooner than I made this decision, a class appeared for me to learn to manage my money. I began to talk myself out of shopping, and I consciously looked at my checkbook.  And, wait for it, I started SAVING money.  Instead of viewing the leftover money I had like I had just won the lottery, I looked at that money as an investment in my goals and my future.  I simply put more of it into my savings account, instead of into other people’s cash registers. In fact, when I recently got a coupon to save $18 if I would just buy 3 products valued at $30, I began to calculate instead of shop.  “So, if I spend $90 on crap I don’t need, I can instead pay $72 and end up with 3 bottles of crap that clutter up my apartment, that, if I really did need any, I could have spent $30 on just one bottle?”  Where’s the sense in that?  (If you re-read that sentence, then you understand, it made no sense!) I tested myself by entering into stores and talking myself OUT of buying anything and was so proud of how I looked around and said, “I DON’T need that, nope, don’t need that either.  I have 3 of those…”  And, the most empowering aspect of all is that I feel I am now in control of my money, rather than it controlling me. You see, if I can save money, and spend less, that means, if I hit a rough patch, I have the skills I need to survive it, which means, in the end, that I don’t have to be  afraid of not having money anymore, because no matter how much or how little I have, I will always have the ability to control my actions around money.  If you’re caught in the “I can’t control my money” lie, I want to leave you with a call to action to help you be more empowered around your own money:  make the decision, right now, to step out of this disempowering belief find a way to educate yourself about how to save and invest money – that could be a magazine, a class, however it is that you learn best figure out your spending personality – a great resource to use is Olivia Mellan’s book “Money Harmony” – which can help you determine how to approach each personality Pass it on! [...] control, my, money, how, to, save, money, how, to, spend, less, money The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/im-stuck-in-my-crappy-job/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=im-stuck-in-my-crappy-job http://thebullbustercafe.com/im-stuck-in-my-crappy-job/#comments Tue, 27 Mar 2012 11:27:31 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=798 http://thebullbustercafe.com/im-stuck-in-my-crappy-job/feed/ 2 0:05:58 This post is for those of you out there who use the phrase “I hate my job” several times a week.  I am offering this as BOTH a podcast, and a written edition, so take your pick!!!  (Scroll to the bottom of this post to access the podcast[...] This post is for those of you out there who use the phrase “I hate my job” several times a week.  I am offering this as BOTH a podcast, and a written edition, so take your pick!!!  (Scroll to the bottom of this post to access the podcast player, or find it on iTunes!) The more I see out there about the big changes and calamity in the world, benefits getting worse, health coverage even for working people declining, and so forth, it makes me wonder, is there not a bigger message here?  A lot of people work in jobs and claim they hate them.  However, they have felt strapped to them because of benefits. Salary, health, retirement. Salaries in many cases are not increasing at the same rate as inflation. Health coverage is getting worse, and employees are paying more and more out of pocket. Retirement – who knows if many of us will even see our Social Security benefit kick in, and 401k plans aren’t a guarantee. Maybe all of this is supposed to poke us in the eye and wake us up…..maybe all of this is a GOOD thing. And, maybe I’m just crazy, but it seems to me, under the theory of “things happen for a reason”, there is a potentially huge wake-up call going on.   As those benefits go away, doesn’t that just remove one of your biggest obstacles to finding work you love?  Because, if the benefits are what’s keeping you tied down, your bonds are weakening.  Perhaps it’s time to start asking yourself, “What’s really keeping me in this job I hate that I can’t recreate doing something I love?” Do you really think you can’t find another way to get paid?  If you were laid off, wouldn’t you start thinking more creatively?  If so, why wait till that day when you can start thinking creatively right NOW and begin forging your path?  Do you honestly believe that the thing you’ve been doing the past year, ten years, or even 40 years, is the ONLY way to succeed? Maybe it’s time to update your thoughts. So, today’s call to action is to start arming yourself with information that can help you make a positive change in your life.  Here are some ideas: Make a list of everything that is making you believe you are tied to a job you hate. (Salary? health benefits? retirement savings?….) For each item on that list, research other ways you can create those benefits.  So, for example, how could you pay for health benefits if not through your job – perhaps turning to your local church/synagogue etc, or joining something like the Freelancer’s Union could offer you additional benefits.  If it’s retirement savings, research IRAs and other investments and at the very least, put aside 2 – 6% of your current income into an account that you could then transfer to an IRA or other investment after your research is complete. Get in touch with what you LOVE doing and figure out how to do it.  If that’s working for a different company, start getting informational interviews there so you know what you need to do to get a job there.  If you’re an entrepreneur, brainstorm some ideas to get your business started.  If it’s a huge career change, look into what you need to get the education to be able to make the change…. The point is, universal signs seem to be pointing towards you doing something you love, so get started right now! I, hate, my, job, I, want, a, new, job, my, job, sucks The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-find-my-passion/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-cant-find-my-passion http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-find-my-passion/#comments Tue, 20 Mar 2012 12:00:16 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=785 http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-cant-find-my-passion/feed/ 0 0:04:30 Today’s lie of the day is for all those of you that believe that only some people get to be happy in their jobs because “most people dont’ like their jobs.” What a disempowering thought! Today’s podcast also features a[...] Today’s lie of the day is for all those of you that believe that only some people get to be happy in their jobs because “most people dont’ like their jobs.” What a disempowering thought! Today’s podcast also features a super, awesome, funtastic, wonderful, big, freaking amazing and FREE kit to get you inspired towards your own passions. Hint – it will not be free forever, so make sure you take advantage! I hope you’ll listen to the podcast, but either way, just click here to access your free kit! I wonder how many of you out there have struggled to figure out your calling in life, and feel stuck in the awareness that you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do, but you can’t quite figure out what you ARE supposed to do?  Or, maybe you have an idea but can’t put it together? So, you pretend to be happy at work, and any time you discuss other ideas with friends and family, they present all the reasons why you should NOT pursue your other ideas? Well, listen in to today’s podcast for some inspiration and then use the FREE passion finder kit to help you figure out where you belong!  No sign-up necessary. Have a BullBusting good time, and if you can’t see the player for the podcast, please hit the title of this post and you should then find the player. Podcast The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/im-a-procrastinator/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=im-a-procrastinator http://thebullbustercafe.com/im-a-procrastinator/#comments Tue, 28 Feb 2012 13:44:18 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=713 http://thebullbustercafe.com/im-a-procrastinator/feed/ 0 0:04:19 Today’s lie of the day is one of my favorites of all time, because it’s so blatantly full of it, that it cracks me up!  And, for those of you who’ve been stuck in this disempowering thought, get ready for a dose of bullbusting that[...] Today’s lie of the day is one of my favorites of all time, because it’s so blatantly full of it, that it cracks me up!  And, for those of you who’ve been stuck in this disempowering thought, get ready for a dose of bullbusting that will kick you right out of it!  If you can’t see the audio player, then simply click the title of this blog post to access its full content. And - BONUS, get your FREE Procrastination Buster by clicking here! how, to, stop, procrastinating, procrastinate, procrastinator, the, truth, about, procrastination The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-have-no-choice/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-have-no-choice http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-have-no-choice/#comments Tue, 21 Feb 2012 14:23:06 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=708 http://thebullbustercafe.com/i-have-no-choice/feed/ 0 0:04:28 Ugh, ever use this motto before?  It’s so disempowering!  And yet, it’s really easy to fall right into it, and believe it’s true for a long time.  It’s got a knack for keeping us safe from making any change in our lives. Lis[...] Ugh, ever use this motto before?  It’s so disempowering!  And yet, it’s really easy to fall right into it, and believe it’s true for a long time.  It’s got a knack for keeping us safe from making any change in our lives. Listen in to hear how it impacts us, and for some ideas to kick this BS motto right out of the farm! As always, if you can’t see the play button, simply click the title of this blog post where you will be able to access it’s entire content. choice, create, change, disempowering, empowerment, no, choice The BullBuster no no http://thebullbustercafe.com/paris-hilton-serves-no-purpose/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=paris-hilton-serves-no-purpose http://thebullbustercafe.com/paris-hilton-serves-no-purpose/#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:28:23 +0000 markelh http://thebullbustercafe.com/?p=648 http://thebullbustercafe.com/paris-hilton-serves-no-purpose/feed/ 0 0:04:25 Today’s Lie of the Day audio podcast includes another free BullBusting Action Guide!  The podcast is about the drama in our every day lives and how to overcome it, and how celebrities can actually play a role in that! Once you’re done l[...] Today’s Lie of the Day audio podcast includes another free BullBusting Action Guide!  The podcast is about the drama in our every day lives and how to overcome it, and how celebrities can actually play a role in that! Once you’re done listening to the podcast (or, if you don’t fee like listening) just click here to access your free action guide!  I’d really appreciate your feedback if you do use it, and feel free to tell other people about it. As always, don’t forget, if you have a lie of the day, you can submit them using the entry form on the sidebar to your right! If you can’t see the play button for the podcast, just hit the title of this blog post to access the audio player. drama, drama, free, how, to, let, go, of, drama, paris, hilton The BullBuster no no