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Today’s Lie: A Trick Will Make You Happy

happyThe Bull 3



Magazines would have us believe that happiness is about “tricks,” and “secrets.”  We talk to friends and quest for this elusive way we can find our happy place.

Is it in a vacation?  But then we return home….

Is it a new job or relationship?….But then the old issues causing us to be unhappy appear again.

Surely, we think, we can find happiness at the spa, a nice massage or facial?…..and then we go back to the routine of our life and are re-acquainted with our unhappiness all over again.


The Bust


Over and over again we look outside to find happiness.  We believe if we wait for something to happen, we will be happier, or that if we buy something it will make us feel better.

The only place we can truly find happiness, though, is in ourselves!  It’s a hell of a lot cheaper than buying a new outfit, or a new car, too…..there’s no trick, no secret, it’s simple – if you aren’t happy with yourself, you won’t find happiness outside yourself either.  It’s easy to be tricked, though, into thinking that, for example, someone else can make you happy. You fall in like, or in love, and suddenly, you believe they make you happy.  Boom!  You’ve just given away your power and created the beginning of the blame game!  As soon as this person screws up (doesn’t call you for 2 days, says you could lose some weight, gets you a crappy birthday present….) you now realize that you are horribly UNhappy and it’s all their fault!

happy2You might convince yourself that a “dream job” is the key to your happiness.  But, if you don’t get hired, or you get fired from it, then, once again, you’ve put your happiness power outside yourself, and that sets you up for the unhappy blues.

When you are truly happy within yourself, someone else’s actions, or a let-down, no longer have any power over you.  So, how do you find that happiness from inside yourself instead of outside?  Let me offer a few ideas:

  1. Recognize that happiness is a CHOICE.  Decide, right now, to choose happiness for yourself.  
  2. If you find yourself experiencing an unhappy moment, use a technique I LOVE from the book “Money and the Law of Attraction”; say out loud to yourself, “Now that I know what I don’t want, what do I want?” That simple re-frame will tune your thoughts into the positive outcome you want and allow you to step into positive visualization.
  3. Sometimes, you might need a pity party to learn how to be happy!  If you have an epic failure, or a huge loss, set a time-frame to allow yourself to feel what you feel.  When the proverbial egg-timer goes off, step back into your choice to be happy and allow yourself to shift back to your happy place.
  4. Try laughing at yourself.  If all else fails, go to a mirror and stick your tongue out to remind yourself that a little silliness now and then is a good thing!


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